Alright, here is the data for my past life generator. Also... the chatterbot that i was considered doing didn't end up happening. sad but true. Oh Time... you elusive fox.

Past Life Generator Data:

Queen Catherine DeMedici--creator of the first high heel, mean italian queen, had a philandering husband, poisoned someone with a glove and instigated the St. Bartholemew Day massacre.


Jim Henson--Muppeteer, voice of the first Kermit the Frog. Also creator of movies such as the Laberynth and the Dark Crystal. Anyone who constumes David Bowie in pants like that and a mullet deserves recognition.

Mr. Rogers--Tortured POW's in Viet Nam, wore sweater vests to cover up tattoos, and cordially asked, "wont you be my neighbor?"

Marolynn Monroe--Pill popping bombshell. Flirty and charismatic, killed herself due to depression.

Judy Garlin--Pill popping songstress. An icon for many gay men.

TS elliot--A poet. Wrote the book that would later become the musical "Cats". Little did he know. (even now he turns in his grave.

Elliot Smith--A minstrel of the 21st century, wrote, no, composed such masterpieces as, "2:45am" and "Waltz #2".

Licoln--Had sex with his slaves, but treated them relatively well. An ugly, ugly man.

John Wilks Booth--Shot Lincoln. Also, a relatively charismatic actor.

Walt Disney--Founder of the Disney empire, which creates childrens movies with hidden sexual messages secretly imedded.

Harriet Tubman--

Marquis de Sade--Creator of Sadism. Enjoyed such activities as flogging, beating, raping, inserting syphilus into ladies vaginas and sewing them up afterward. In other words, your a sick, sick fuck.

The Earl of Sandwich--Made a killer sandwich.

Kermit the Frog--One sexy frog. A lean, green, piggy-loving machine.

Methuselah--Level 60 undead fire mage, happily lived out his later days killings dwarves and elves in Alterac Valley. A proud blood guard of the Horde.

Rex Harrison--A very distinguished actor. Talked to the animals as the very first Doctor Doolittle.

Louis Armstrong--What a wonderful man. Played the trumpet so much he had a callus on his lower lip.

Helen Keller--Deaf and dumb.

Lizzie Borden--Took an axe, gave her father 40 whacks. When she'd seen what she had done, she gaver her mother 41.

Rosa Parks--No back of the bus for her. One small step for Rosa, one giant leap for racial equality.

Charles Manson--Killer.

Chris Farley--Funnyman, died depressed from a drug overdose.

John Belushi--Funnyman, died. One more SNL man down the drain.

Johnny Cash--He walked the line. But not really, because he had lots of sex with his good friend June Carter.

John Lennon--In a weird photo, naked and fetal, with Yoko Ono.

The Duke on Anjou--A very flamboyantly gay duke. Once destined to marry queen elizabeth.

Joseph Smith--An epileptic who Wrote the book of mormon out of a hat. A hat!

Danny Mayo--The inspiration to the song "Danny Mayo" died at a young age from heart failure, he was the size of a bus. He felt strongly about city folk staying in the city, as well as hunting and other "rural" activities. He wore camo pants to school, it wasnt cool. Danny Mayo Danny Mayo Danny Mayo Danny Mayo. Oh Danny Mayo, Mayo, Mayo, Mayo. The irony.

Rosie the Riveter-- The "We Can Do It!" lady - Many women first found economic strength in World War II-era manufacturing jobs. Found on a stamp.

Pocahontas--Just around the river bend.

Queen Elizabeth--Never married, and supposedly never had sex. She was a mynx.

Janet Reno--Ugly, ugly woman. Also known as will ferrel.

Condoleezza Rice--Satan.

Karla Homolka-- killer, kidnapper, and rapist (also a woman)


Cleopatra VII of Egypt--A beautiful but petulant tease.

Medusa--Suffered from chronic bad hairday.

Bonnie Parker--Friends with Clyde.

Eve--Wore a leaf. started a wave of woman hating. (it's all her damn fault. [bitch])

Mata Hari--Crazy Spy

Bette Davis--Incredible eyes. Also very creepy in the movie "what ever happened to baby jane." She fed her crippled sister a rat for dinner. ha ha.